By Paula Graham
Catholic Herald correspondent

Kramer completes year of service, discernment

LADYSMITH --In late August 2001, Ryan Kramer of Hayward arrived at the Our Lady of Sorrows rectory to begin a year of discernment. Instead of attending formation classes at St. John Vianney Minor Seminary in St. Paul, Kramer took a year off from academics to enter into parish life. He taught religious education, worked in campus ministry at Mount Senario College, made Communion calls to the nursing home and accompanied Fr. John Anderson on the First Friday rounds to the homebound.

Was Kramer able to discern if God is calling him for the priesthood? "Yes and no," he said. "Am I more ready to go back to seminary? Yes. Am I positive that God wants me to become a priest? No. I didn't get that memo. Sometimes we want God to spell things out for us. It's the struggle and the growth through that struggle that really gives us our answer," he said.

However, Kramer trusts that his faith journey is on the right road. "When I'm at peace and I'm happy, it's when I want to become a priest. And that tells me something about myself and what God has in store. I am sure God wants me to be in seminary to continue to discern," he said.

Kramer says he first started thinking of the priesthood "halfway seriously" when he was a sophomore English and history major at UW-Eau Claire. His career goal was to become a teacher. The campus Newman Center sponsored a trip to Chicago, where Kramer worked in a food pantry at a safe home for mothers and children. "The trip is part of what changed my mind," he said.

According to Kramer, if seminarians take a year off before ordination, and many do not, they usually do it much later in the formation process. "Being out of sync with my classmates who will graduate and go on to major seminary is difficult, but it was time for me. I asked the vocation team of the Diocese of Superior for the year off to discern. Fr. Kevin Gordon, vocation director (at the time), worked out the details."

Kramer admits that when he arrived in Ladysmith he was scared "of the unknown. Of myself. I didn't know what kind of environment I would be in. I didn't know Fr. John very well. I hold very high expectations of myself. I was nervous about all kinds of things," he said, however, "the welcoming was incredible. The staff and the parishioners were completely supportive and very generous."

Anderson was instrumental in helping Kramer learn about life as a parish priest in the Diocese of Superior. "Fr. John's been very open. We've had many impromptu discussions about everything —movies, what's going on in the community, the experiences he's having, ones I'm having, issues in the church," said Kramer. Retired priest Fr. Al Verdigan also mentored Kramer. "Having him in town was a blessing. We played cards, talked. Hearing his experiences was a big help," said Kramer

Participating in the sacraments, especially Mass and reconciliation, was the foundation of Kramer's year of discernment. "Without that grace," he said, "it's hard to discern." Kramer also finds prayer essential to his spiritual growth. He prays the Liturgy of the Hours, appreciating the structure. "I like the daily rhythm. It's very life-giving to me." And he prays throughout the day. "It originally starts out as 'Help.' Then you recognize blessings, then you notice people in need," he said.

Kramer reads widely. Books that have influenced his faith journey include Alan Schreck's Catholic and Christian; Bill Heubsch's Vatican II in Plain English; C.K. Chesterton's Orthodoxy; and The Story of a Soul: the Autobiography of Saint Therese of Lisieux. From Romana Guardini's The Lord, Kramer takes selections for daily reflection. "The chapters are short, but packed with insight. They're very good for prayer."

Kramer gives vocation talks whenever he has the opportunity. "I'm not there to tell people to become a priest, sister, monk or deacon. I tell them that when they're looking at their future, if they want to be the happiest they can be, ask the question 'What does God want me to be?'" He encourages parents not to hinder a possible vocation: "There is a lot of fear in parents when a child considers a celibate religious vocation. They worry about their child being lonely," he said.

The current crisis in the church has made Kramer sensitive. He worries about how it might affect his ministry as a parish priest. "If I discern that it is God's will that I become a priest, I'll be committed to do that much better. It's the way a lot of seminarians I've talked to feel. You can't make up for the things other people do, but you can let God work through you by doing the best that you can do," he said.

Immersing himself in parish life has sharpened Kramer's focus. "In seminary you are isolated from normal parish life. You're in college with a bunch of guys studying to become priests. With all the pressures, you forget why you're there, which is to serve God and people. Being here has helped remind me why I went to seminary in the first place," Kramer said.

When Kramer returns to St. John Vianney, he will take with him the love and support of those who mentored him and supported him. "I want to thank everyone, Fr, John, Fr. Al, Sr. Cecile Kees, Sr. Jovita Winkle, the Knights, SDCCW, my family, and the Our Lady of Sorrows, St. Anthony, St. Mary cluster parish," he said.

How will Kramer finally know if the priesthood is his vocation? "That's the question," he said. "When I'm doing well in my faith journey, that's when I'm the happiest and when I want to become a priest," he said, but then those misconceptions creep in: maybe I'd be happier doing something else instead of serving other people. Yet, it's in fulfilling our duty to God and living in that joy and peace that we can find true happiness. It's almost selfish the joy you can get from serving other people. There's nothing wrong with that. It's what God wants us to do."

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© Superior Catholic Herald, 2002