By Sam M. Lucero
Catholic Herald

A dairy farm mother's story

BRUCE -- Lenore Krajewski sets her alarm for 5 a.m. every day but Sunday. She and husband Larry operate a dairy farm in Rusk County, and it is Lenore's job to milk 37 cows twice a day, six days a week.

Larry handles the Sunday morning milking and his wife sleeps in until 7:30. The extra hours of sleep give Lenore the energy to get her family ready for 9:30 a.m. Mass at St. Mary Church, where she is organist, coordinator of seventh and eighth grade religious education, director of the adult initiation program (RCIA), and liturgy committee member. Then it's back home for chores and at the end of the day a second milking session.

Such is the life of a small dairy farm family.

It's a life that Larry and Lenore have come to love since becoming full-time dairy farmers 18 years ago. It's meant sacrifices and, as Lenore says with a laugh, it's meant raising five boys with a mom who doesn't fit the stereotypical mold.

"It was much more common to see mom on a tractor or in the barn than it was to see me in the kitchen," she said. "And when I wasn't home, I can't remember not being in church."

Even on Mother's Day, it's hard to predict how the day will be celebrated, said Krajewski.

"One year I planted oats on Mother's Day. It depends on what happens" with the weather, she said. "We might grab a bite at McDonald's on our way to a church meeting; maybe we'll have bologna sandwiches because we've got to get back on those tractors. Or maybe they'll take me out to dinner."

Faith has guided family

While planning family outings can sometimes be unpredictable, there has never been any doubt that faith has guided the Krajewski family. St. Mary Church is Lenore's home away from home, and her sons know the inside of St. Mary's as well as they know their parents' living room.

"If Larry was out on a tractor, the kids went with me" to church, said Krajewski. Whether it was decorating the church, practicing the organ or attending a meeting, she would buckle her boys into their car seats and off to church they went.

Oldest son a priest

All that time in church had some impact on Krajewski 's children. Her oldest son, Rob, was ordained to the priesthood by Bishop Raphael M. Fliss in 1998.

The other Krajewski children include Andy, 26, Ed, 13, and Dan, 11. Her second oldest son, Peter, died in a plane crash on May 2, 2000. Like Fr. Rob, he worked full-time for the church -- as fourth grade teacher at Our Lady of Sorrows School in Ladysmith.

Ever since Lenore and Larry met at the Catholic student center on the UW-La Crosse campus over 30 years ago, faith has been a central part of their lives. After they were married on Jan. 8, 1972, Lenore volunteered to play the organ at their parish in Fairview, Wis. Her involvement continued and even flourished after moving to Rusk County in 1975.

"I got involved in religious education when the kids started going to classes," she said. "When they started clustering parishes, I got involved in lay ministry at St. Ann's" in nearby Murray. The Krajewskis attended church there from 1986 to 1991.

As a lay presider, Krajewski led Communion services when a priest was not available for Mass. In 1991 St. Ann Church closed and the family returned to St. Mary Church.

In 1992 Fr. John Long asked Krajewski to serve as coordinator of religious education at St. Mary's, a job she still holds. She also coordinates the high school religious education program for the entire four-parish cluster.

Krajewski said she is proud of her priest-son. But she is just as proud of Peter's accomplishments as a teacher and mentor to his class; and of Andy and wife Stacy, who recently presented Lenore and Larry with their first grandchild, 16-month-old Taylor Dawn.

As for her relationship with Fr. Rob, it's still the same.

"I still call him Rob. I still yell at him -- he ain't that holy," she said laughing. "He's a 'people' too. He can mess up. I've always felt close to all my boys and I don't think that's changed any."

Dealing with loss of son

What has changed in the last year is coping with the loss of her son Peter.

"I've talked to moms who lost children 20 or 30 years ago and it's not something that you get over," she said. "I don't expect that I will. It's always there. Every time you hear of someone else you know who's lost a child you feel that pain.

"I guess we're conditioned to believe that our parents will die first. ... We're not conditioned to lose children," explained Krajewski. "I'm not saying it wasn't painful to lose my dad or my father-in-law, but it's a different kind of pain. It certainly hasn't gone away after a year and I don't expect it ever will."

Since Peter's death, Krajewski said she's come to see the Virgin Mary in a new light.

"During chores the other night I was thinking that, as hard as it was for us to accept the death of our children, how horrible it must have been for Mary to have to stand there and watch" Jesus' crucifixion, she said. "Our kids (Peter and the two other plane crash victims, Arthur Bresina and Deborah Bates) went quickly and there's a comfort in that. I guess no mom ever wants to see her kids suffer."

Although Krajewski never had a strong devotion to Mary, "I'm finding that I'm doing a little more reflecting on that as I age," she said.

Women find friendship

In addition to finding comfort in Mary, Krajewski said a friendship that has blossomed between her and the mothers of Bresina and Bates has given her strength.

"We got together for lunch last week," she said. "It's probably one of the most positive experiences I've had. We can talk to each other and realize we're not crazy because we feel one way or another."

On May 3, a year and one day after the plane crash, a memorial Mass was held for the three families in Weyerhaeuser.

"We talked and talked" before Mass, she said. "After Mass we all stood around and talked and talked."

It was faith that brought Larry and Lenore together. It was faith that has sustained and nurtured their family. And it is faith that will continue to carry them through painful times.

On Sunday, when mothers around the world are recognized for the endless devotion to their families, Lenore Krajewski will be feted by her family. Whether it be with a chocolate shake or a red rose, the dairy farm mom will relish the attention and offer a thanksgiving prayer for her bountiful blessings.

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© Superior Catholic Herald, 2001