By Joe Winter
Catholic Herald correspondent

Couples, families celebrate fidelity in marriage

HUDSON -- The second annual Marriage Fidelity Day, held at YMCA Camp St. Croix Sept. 18, used diverse activities to celebrate, educate and raise awareness about the benefits of strong marriages and strong families.

MFD celebrates couples who have kept their marital promises, as well as those who might have strayed and then done the hard work of healing their marriage and families, said organizer Penny Tupy, a local certified marriage coach.

"These couples -- both types, I believe -- are the unsung heroes of our day," Tupy said. "When we look at the infidelity rate in the U.S., and some estimates put it at 60-80 percent of all marriages, the divorce rate of just under 50 percent, and the effects of divorce on kids and society as a whole, it's easy to see. Couples who do the hard work of making a marriage work are indeed heroic."

As a precursor to the MFD, Tupy spoke on some of these same topics two days earlier at the River Falls Public Library. The talk was titled, "Brad/Angelina/Jen -- Fluke or American Lifestyle: Why We Love and Why We Stray?"

"What does our media tell us, and our kids, about marriage and monogamy? From Brad and Jen to Julia Roberts and Scott Peterson -- the stories and the attitudes vary widely," Tupy said. "This presentation explores marriage and faithfulness through the eyes of the media, from celebrity indiscretions to greeting cards for people having affairs.

"Do you know which household name corporation has an advertising campaign that calls having a mistress 'stylish'?" Tupy asked. She backed up her thesis with statistics and provided tips to keep couples from going down that same path.

The four-hour MFD event was created by Tupy in 2004, when Alaska and Iowa signed a proclamation declaring Sept. 15 as Marriage Fidelity Day. "This year we're waiting to hear from six or seven states where residents of those states have submitted it to their governor for signing," she said. "Ohio is the first we've received for 2005."

Tupy and her husband submitted the 2005 Marriage Fidelity Day proclamation to Wisconsin Gov. James Doyle -­ and are still waiting to hear if it will be signed.

The proclamation was available for viewing at the Camp St. Croix event, billed as a "family fun day" and sponsored by SYMC (Save Your Marriage Central) Global Inc. Run by Tupy, it is a nonprofit, non denominational marriage advocacy organization based in Prescott, Wis.

The highlight of the day was the two high-ropes courses, where a commitment bridge lets couples or partners -- which also could be a child and a parent or simply two friends -- test their trust, courage and skill as they proceed.

There was also an informal vow renewal ceremony, where each couple filled out a certificate to take home.

The day and the events were informal and geared towards families wandering around and having fun, Tupy said. Camp St. Croix, which is set near the St. Croix River, is perfect for this event, she added.

There were games and opportunities for couples and families to try their hands and feet at a tandem bike ride, listen to African drummers and play along with them, and try henna body art, as well as a materials and art area for creating family collages.

A group of Gyuto monks, who constructed a fire sand mandala at Glen Park in River Falls on Sept. 11, in an effort to call for world peace, also made an appearance. The Gyuto Wheel of Dharma Monastery in Minneapolis shares the wisdom teachings of Tibetan Buddhism, while preserving traditions and their culture that is in exile, organizers said.

The monks performed a blessing ceremony, or puja, for family members affected by Hurricane Katrina, and also prayed for all families. They did a ceremonial chant, played instruments such as simultaneous ringing of bells, and conducted an invocation.

One of the MFD participants, Liz Jones, said this "holistic event" celebrated love and family stability. "I think it is a wonderful message to send to our children that we can come together to celebrate love and commitment. The event welcomed families of all kinds and sent a message of fostering good, healthy relationships," she said, adding that some people make marriage a divisive issue, when differing beliefs are involved.

"I was moved by this event of all-encompassing celebration ­- to promote family values without discriminating against anyone else's choice of who they call family," Jones said.

Editor's note: For more information on these events, call Kathy Tarr at 651-208-1041.

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© Superior Catholic Herald, 2005