MOUNT CALVARY, Wis. -- Sending a son to St. Lawrence Seminary can be a bittersweet experience, according to several local Catholics whose sons attend the high school located in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee.

Dropping off a ninth-grade son for the first time and saying goodbye is the most difficult part, they say, but seeing the maturation -- physical, spiritual and social -- that takes place over the four years makes the empty nest syndrome easier to bear.

"We're not crazy about the fact that our son left home so early," stated Dave Librande, a member of St. Catherine Parish in Sarona, whose son Joseph is a sophomore at St. Lawrence. "Last year was very difficult. When I would look across the dinner table and he was gone, it was a challenge for us."

While there have been "a few bumps along the way," he said, "I think we're very satisfied."

Dave and Gail Librande's decision to have their son attend St. Lawrence is summed up in one word, said Dave: sacrifice.

"I think as Catholics we should expect that there's going to be a certain amount of sacrifice that we're going to put out for our children," he said. "This is something we prayed about and took a lot of time as a family to discern. It wasn't something we took lightly.

"It definitely involves a lot of sacrifice, but in the end, I think we will have opened doors for Joe that never, ever could have been opened," he added.

Tina Derousseau, whose son Tyler Richter is in his third year at St. Lawrence, said she was not interested in sending her son away to high school until making a visit to the campus.

"You could feel the whole spirit the minute you got on that hill," she said. "We saw the closeness and richness of the school. The boys were all so close, so kind and opening doors for you."

Derousseau said she has seen her son mature in his attitude and faith. "Tyler has really learned to be a little more humble. He's learned to lean on God more, trusting in God more than anyone else to lead his life," she said.

Parents need to visit the campus and see for themselves what it offers, said Derousseau, a member of St. Joseph Parish in Rice Lake. "You don't get the fullness of it unless you go there and experience it yourself."

She finds the spiritual emphasis at St. Lawrence to be unique.

"In a world where people are pushing God out of the schools and out of every public system there is, it's wonderful to be in a place and have my son attend school where God is number one," she said.

Patti Sallee, whose son Nathan Dumonseau is a freshman at St. Lawrence, is still adjusting to not having her son home.

"As hard as it is to have him gone, I can't think of a better place for him to be," she added.

She described the seminary as "a little mountain oasis plopped on the earth where people can go to foster goodness. The Christian values are instilled in everyone there and it's just a loving place."

Nathan first learned about St. Lawrence in fifth grade at Cathedral School in Superior. He was determined to go there, said Sallee. As he got older the enthusiasm wore off. It wasn't until he made a weekend visit last spring that Nathan decided in favor of St. Lawrence.

"I don't see any negative to it," Sallee said. "People say (boys) need to socialize (with girls) and this and that. But the kids there, they try things that I think peer pressure would prevent them from trying here" such as forensics, cantoring and drama.

"I like the idea of that opportunity for Nathan to become the best Catholic man he can, whatever his vocation may be," added Sallee. "All of that is explored. I don't know that every Catholic who goes to a regular high school gets that opportunity to know where they fit into the world."

Even though Larry and Pam LaPean have had two sons graduate from St. Lawrence, it is still hard to say good-bye to their two youngest sons who are now attending the seminary.

Ted LaPean graduated from St. Lawrence in 1996. His brother Andy followed two years later. Kyle is a senior and Paul is a sophomore this year.

"It's hard leaving them there at first, but once they adjust and you see they're happy there, it does get easier," said Pam. "You miss out on a lot of their teen years, but I hear what's going on in these (public) schools and I'm glad they're there."

The LaPeans learned about St. Lawrence from Fr. Gerard Willger, a St. Lawrence alumnus, while he served as associate pastor at St. Patrick Parish in 1992.

"People used to ask us, 'How can you send your kids away?' We don't send them away. They have to want to go," said Larry. "Otherwise it would never work."

Although she struggled with the five-hour distance between Hudson and Mount Calvary, Pam said knowing that all her sons chose St. Lawrence made the adjustment easier. "It had all the good points, I couldn't find anything bad, except that it was so far away."

Larry said the best thing a family can do is visit the school.

"They have to go and see the place to understand the brotherhood that is there and how well behaved and how much spiritual direction they receive," said Larry. "A stranger walking on the St. Lawrence campus is welcomed by everybody they see. They ask how you're doing, and they ask if they can help you."

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© Superior Catholic Herald, 2000