transplant

By Mary Grieco
Catholic Herald correspondent

Ailing Eagle River dad receives lasting gift from son: new kidney

Eagle River -- Jim Grzywacz is having a busy summer taking care of his big lawn, getting in a few rounds of golf, and in general just enjoying his retirement. Last year at this time, however, he was wondering if he'd be alive to see his flower garden in bloom for another season.

His life was unexpectedly interrupted 10 years ago when doctors discovered that he had an incurable kidney disease. The diagnosis was made following a company physical and came as a complete surprise, since he had no symptoms. Over the next several years, the disease progressed slowly, but by 1998 his health had deteriorated significantly, and it became apparent that his best chance for survival was a kidney transplant.

It was his son, John, who gave him the gift of life by donating his kidney. Jim and his wife, Barb, have three sons, and all were equally compatible and willing. But John, being the oldest, says he "pushed to be the one." The transplant team at University Hospital in Madison advised that the children should make the choice on their own without any input from their parents.

"They had to make the decision," Jim agreed. "I didn't want to be any part of it. And if I had to wait for a cadaver just like other people, that was OK."

"He walked the floor many nights thinking of this transplant and taking a kidney from John," Barb explained. "Taking it was so hard for both of us ... and it bothered me to think of what John had to go through to allow me to live longer with his father."

John called the next day with his decision, which was supported by his wife, Lisa. "If it had been my father, I would have done the same thing," she said. "John still needs a father, and our children need a grandfather."

There is no denying that the surgery is painful, even more so for the donor than for the recipient. John admits there were a few uncomfortable days, but soon he and his dad were racing each other down the hall of the transplant unit, which they now call "the miracle floor."

"What I think is so neat about this whole experience, besides the obvious successful outcome, is the sense of family and community and church that became so apparent," John said. "You have all these strands out there in life, but you don't realize how they all fit until you pull them together and they help support you. They all weave together to get you through it."

John and his family got help from friends in their hometown of Ames, Iowa, as well as from people they hardly knew. Jim and Barb are also grateful for the support they received from their parish, St. Peter the Fisherman, and from the community as a whole. "Everything was just somehow taken care of," Barb explained. "Talk about being carried in God's hands."

Prayer chains were started throughout the country via mutual acquaintances and even strangers. "When you are sitting in the hospital and you realize that people from all over are praying, it is an amazing feeling," John noted.

At the time of the transplant in January, John was the only living donor in the hospital; all other transplant patients were receiving organs from someone who had died. "Until dad got sick, I never gave two hoots about organ transplants or being a donor," John explained. Now, however, he and his mother are speaking out whenever possible to encourage more people to consider giving the gift of life.

Under normal circumstances, one kidney can do the job of two, and donors usually have no complications. A donor's medical costs are paid by the recipient, although the recuperation period and time off from work may be a hardship for some. John said he is fortunate to have his own business and a supportive staff. He runs a bus company and now jokes with his dad that getting a new kidney is "just like putting a new carburetor in an old bus." And it's running great.

Anyone who wants to be a donor at the time of death can indicate that intention on a driver's license, but the Grzywaczs emphasize that families should be made aware of the donor's wishes so they understand what needs to be done.

John and Lisa's children are already beginning to understand the importance of being an organ donor. After seeing his dad's scar, 3-year-old Jeremy spontaneously said, "When I get big, I'm going to give you a kidney." And Emily gave a presentation to her kindergarten class and simply explained, "My jaja (grandpa in Polish) needed a kidney. My daddy had two, so he gave one to jaja. Now they are both happy."